“Bon Appétit” in France: Polite Gesture or Social Faux Pas?
Louise Abbéma “Déjeuner dans la serre”. Source: Wikimedia Commons
How to Say “Bon Appétit” in France Without Offending Anyone
In France, the seemingly simple act of saying “Bon appétit” before a meal is not as straightforward as it appears. While many see it as a polite and friendly wish, others view it as unnecessary or even slightly rude.
Understanding when and how to use this phrase is essential, especially if you’re a foreigner navigating French dining etiquette.
Why Do French People Say “Bon Appétit”?
For most French people today, “Bon appétit” is an expression of courtesy, a simple way to wish others enjoyment of the meal. It is common:
At home with family and friends,
In restaurants during business lunches or social gatherings,
Playfully in casual or humorous settings.
In these contexts, the phrase creates warmth and reminds everyone that a meal is more than food, it’s a shared social experience.
Is “Bon Appétit” Rude? The Traditional View of French Etiquette
In some traditional or aristocratic circles, “Bon appétit” has long been considered poor manners. The reasons are rooted in old French etiquette:
It states the obvious: everyone knows they are about to eat.
True politeness is silent: refinement means beginning the meal calmly, without unnecessary words.
Historical precedent: in bourgeois or aristocratic families, verbalizing the obvious was considered inelegant; discretion was valued over chatter.
From this perspective, “Bon appétit” might sound casual, unsophisticated, or even vulgar.
Do French People Still Say “Bon Appétit”?
Yes, most French people say it without hesitation. However, the choice often depends on:
The type of meal (family, business, or formal dinner),
The social and cultural background of the diners,
The level of familiarity with those at the table.
In everyday situations, saying “Bon appétit” is perfectly acceptable. At very formal dinners, however, silence may feel more appropriate.
English Equivalent of “Bon Appétit”
The closest English translation is “Enjoy your meal.”
That said, English speakers use it less frequently. In French, the phrase feels warmer and more embedded in dining culture than its English equivalent.
How to Respond to “Bon Appétit” in French
If someone wishes you “Bon appétit”, the polite responses are simple:
“Bon appétit à vous aussi !” or “Bon appetit également !” (Enjoy your meal too !)
If you prefer not to respond to “Bon appétit” because of your background or strong personal convictions about the phrase, you can simply say:
“Merci !” (Thank you !)
“Vous aussi !” or “Vous également !” (You too !)
This brief exchange is enough to keep the atmosphere convivial without overemphasizing the expression itself.
So, Should You Say “Bon Appétit” in France?
For foreigners, the safest approach is simple:
Casual meals: Yes, it’s expected and appreciated.
Formal dinners: Better to skip it, silence shows refinement.
In the end, “Bon appétit” reflects the subtlety of French social codes. For some, it is a warm gesture; for others, slightly inelegant. Either way, it remains one of the most iconic expressions of French dining culture.
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FAQ:
Q01. Can you say “Bon appétit” in France if you are not French?
Yes. Foreigners can safely use “Bon appétit” in everyday settings, at restaurants, with hosts, or among friends. Most French people will find it polite and friendly, not awkward.
Q02. Do the French say “Bon appétit” at every meal?
Not always. While it’s common at family lunches or casual dinners, in very formal meals the phrase may be skipped in favor of silence.
Q03. Is it better to say “Bon appétit” or stay quiet?
It depends on context. In informal or friendly settings, saying it adds warmth. In a formal or aristocratic environment, silence is considered more refined.
Q04. Is there a more formal alternative to “Bon appétit”?
No direct substitute exists. The more formal approach is not to replace it, but to simply begin eating without saying anything.
Q05. What’s the cultural meaning of “Bon appétit”?
“Bon appétit” does more than wish someone a pleasant meal. It reflects the French idea of dining as a social ritual, a moment for sharing, conversation, and conviviality rather than just eating.
Traditionally, the phrase also implied wishing good digestion, which explains why in certain refined or aristocratic circles it was avoided. Speaking about the body at the table was seen as inelegant.
Q06. Do French waiters say “Bon appétit” in restaurants?
Yes. In most cafés and casual restaurants, servers often say “Bon appétit” when serving food, as a simple sign of courtesy and friendliness.
In gastronomic or fine-dining restaurants, however, staff usually prefer the more refined “Bonne dégustation” (“Enjoy your tasting”), which better matches the tone of haute cuisine.