The Lost Art of Etiquette in the Age of AI
Oskar Schlemmer, Bauhaustreppe, 1932 (Public domain) Source: Wikimedia Commons.
Teaching AI to Talk, But Forgetting How to Behave
Starting from a simple yet profound observation: while we invest heavily in teaching artificial intelligence how to think, speak, and act like us, we paradoxically forget the very essence of what makes us human, our way of being. In a world where interactions are increasingly digitized, automated, and fast-paced, the real challenge is no longer technological mastery but our ability to cultivate subtle interpersonal finesse embodied in etiquette. This is not a mere outdated art; it is a strategic skill, a competitive lever of unsuspected power that may well redefine the rules of leadership and success in the post-digital age.
Why Etiquette Is More Than Just “Nice-to-Have”
Soft skills are no longer optional. They are your strongest algorithm. The way you toast, greet, serve, and speak, these are not trivial gestures but foundational elements of trust in luxury business, fine dining, and high-stakes diplomacy.
Etiquette isn’t about rigid rules or outdated formality. It’s about respect, about making others feel seen, heard, and valued.
The Power of Small Gestures in High-Stakes Settings
When a CEO properly decants a Grand Cru or stands to greet a guest, they are sending a powerful message: culture, awareness, and genuine care. In elite business circles, that’s priceless currency.
Why Etiquette Still Matters
Think back to a moment when someone’s manners impressed you:
A leader who remembered to pour your wine first.
An executive who stood to greet you warmly.
A colleague who listened more than they spoke.
How rare are these moments today? In our AI-powered, notification-saturated world, real human connection is becoming the ultimate luxury. Etiquette, once dismissed as old-fashioned, now signals leadership, emotional intelligence, and cultural fluency.
It’s not about which fork you use. It’s about knowing when to speak and when to listen. About introducing others in a way that elevates their presence. About honoring moments with intentional gestures.
Beyond Forks: The True Cost of Losing the Human Touch
It’s not about which fork you use. It’s about knowing when to speak and when to listen. About introducing others in a way that elevates their presence. About honoring moments with intentional gestures.
As digital communication replaces face-to-face exchanges and AI automates many functions, many professionals neglect the nuances of behavior that build rapport. This loss manifests in:
Missed social cues during important negotiations
Faux pas at formal dinners that damage reputations
A general sense of disconnection and lack of trust among peers and partners
Such missteps may seem minor but can cost far more than money, they can erode relationships and block opportunities.
The ROI of Manners: Soft Skills with Hard Returns
Business is deeply emotional. Clients, investors, and partners don’t just buy your product, they buy how you make them feel.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Maya Angelou
Mastering etiquette means:
Projecting confidence without arrogance
Commanding attention without shouting
Earning respect before uttering a word
Where etiquette creates real impact:
At the Table: Cultural fluency in simple acts like napkin placement builds respect.
During Toasts: A well-crafted toast can inspire and unite.
In Emails & Messages: Tone and courtesy can drive client loyalty and team alignment.
In Leadership: The most respected leaders blend vision with grace.
Etiquette: The Ultimate Soft Skill for the Digital Age
In a universe dominated by algorithms and form, it is human depth that creates genuine advantage. Mastering etiquette means reinvesting our relationships with rare authenticity and attention, capable of transcending the coldness of technology. More than mere politeness, it is the key to lasting influence, the engine of sincere trust, and the foundation of enlightened leadership. Those who can reconcile technical excellence with this human elegance, the true “soft skill” of our time, will be the architects of a success that is both innovative and profoundly human.
My Challenge to You
Next time you’re in a business setting, pause. Observe. Ask yourself:
What would a world-class host or guest do here?
Then act accordingly.
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Sources:
LinkedIn Talent Trends reports highlighting the importance of soft skills in leadership hiring decisions:
https://business.linkedin.com/talent-solutions/global-talent-trends?trk=bl-po-blog-launch-post#hiring
https://www.linkedin.com/business/talent/blog/talent-acquisition/business-case-for-skills-first-hiring
Case studies documented in business media on fintech companies' customer engagement strategies during service disruptions:
https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/us/company-that-sacked-700-workers-with-ai-now-regrets-it-scrambles-to-rehire-as-automation-goes-horribly-wrong/articleshow/121732999.cms?utm_source=chatgpt.com&from=mdr